Art is the proper task of life











{January 22, 2007}   Translation for Non-Mehram Women

To all my Muslim sisters, if you ever wondered why Muslim brothers in the mosques or college campuses do not reply to your salam even though the same people may be seen in not so Islamic situations with our non-Muslim counterparts then here is your answer – an excerpt from a translation book used by our brothers to interpret what we say. They have been using it for many years, but now for the glorious make benefit of my sisters I was able to steal obtain a copy. A lot of things should make sense now.

When a non-mehram Muslima says,

 As’salam’o’Alai’kum

it should be taken to mean

I think you are hot.

When a non-mehram Muslima akss,

How are you?

it should be taken to mean

Do you want to hook up?

When a non-mehram Muslima asks,

Brother have you taken the class on Calculus Partial Derivatives?

it should be taken to mean

I am going to seduce you.

When a non-mehram Muslima asks,

What is the prayer time for Jumah?

it should be taken to mean

How about a date, right after Jumah?

So sisters, next time you see a brother being mean to you while being all hunky dory with a non-Muslim woman then remember the above translations. Its not their fault. They are just made like that.



Working says:

seriously…..

Though my husband says salaam to other girl. Should I be worried? hehe



lol. I must add that this is only for non-Mehram Muslim women. If men says salam or replies then it can mean a number of things. His salam could just be, “Get away from me you evil temptress!”



Working says:

That must be it. He’s saying “I am happily married to workingthemindandbody! Wasalam THIS!”.



Maliha says:

Salamaat,
hahahaha…and I wrote a whole serious piece on this..you summed it up perfectly, I love it! Look forward to reading more of your writing.



Suroor says:

This is so funny!

Welcome to blogosphere and hope to read more from you!



Maliha, all great people think alike.

Suroor, thanks!



monkey says:

I don’t know what “mehram” means but this is really funny because I know a ton of Hindu guys who act like that too.



Sumera says:

Lol…Some of this is so true😀

Welcome to the crazy blogging world!



Working says:

Monkey, “mehram” is a relative you can’t marry (like your brother, father etc)….



Aliana says:

Sumera, thanks. I am looking forward to be here for long.

monkey: So we are not that different after all!

Working: You beat me to the explanaation but thanks for doing it.



liked it lots! though its creepy when they turn around and say salam to you first, when they’re all standing around in a pack… wtf is that all about?! *rolls eyes*



Aliana says:

somethingtobe, that is correct. I wonder if being in packs makes them less ‘susceptible’ to the ‘dangers’ of women.🙂



Maryam says:

*giggles*

i think its seedy when they do that and i never return their salam



Aliana says:

Its complicated.



khuld says:

Great post…hilarious!



aMmAr says:

Assalam Alequm,

I dont want to sound cheesy but ur 2 good at this stuff🙂

heh



Aliana says:

wa salam, Thank you thank you and I haven’t even started talking yet.



Sofia says:

It’s so funny that you posted this….this happens to me all the time when I’m on campus. It was new to me because I have three older brothers who don’t act this way at all if fact they go out of their way to greet our Muslim brothers and sisters. Naturally at first I was bewildered and then I mentioned it to my brother a couple days later and he explained it to me just in your post. He said that their all afraid we might “corrupt” or “seduce” them, but the he sees it is that their are the one’s with those “ideas” in their heads and they just reflect it on us to make themselves feel better. It’s kinda funny that because for the longest time I thought assumed that they couldn’t hear me..lol



Aliana says:

Sofia, yup this is what usually happens.



adheim says:

ok its actually funny lol

however since i am one of those dudes on campus who may or may not reply let me explain what really happens

( 1 ) there is a certain amount of …. feelings u could call it love or respect or whatever but its like the muslims sisters are some how different like worth more well may b because many of us like U all and want to marry U / or our friends like U and want to marry U or our friends like u and U are his wife understand the weardness of the situation .

The non-muslim girls well i dont really give a crap about , i talking to u because i need your notes or U are my lab partner or some thing but the little veiled chick i am secretly in love with and have something in my heart 4 .

The arabic word is gerrah i am yet to find a english word to describe it its like a love and respect or protectiveness over some thing .

now every one does it of course 4 different reasons i normally greet the muslim sisters but …… well

( 2 ) there is a second reason but i would not get into that here



adheim says:

why is that box my name pink , it looks soo gay lol some one take it off plz why did i even …………… all i wanted was the funny picture its kool by the way but nuqqabe sisters do look better in real the pic deos nit do them justice



khan says:

In all honesty, i haven’t much of a clue but my best guess would be that it depends on the culture ur from, example if u sudanese shaking hands with the opposite sex is quite common, and in fact not to do so to a woman is a grave insult as you don’t shake hands with “unclean” women so to speak. Being from a pathan background, as open minded and liberal as i am in the cultural sense, i still feel like im going to be shot if i iniate salaam to a female, but I’ll always reply wasalaam. On the other hand, i’ve felt the vibe from some females that deep down in their pure hearts a dua is going out to have the lightning strike me down where i stand!



Samuel L. says:

This is quite a hot information. I’ll share it on Digg.



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